


Hunger

by thealigirl8



Category: 2PM, Jay Park (Musician)
Genre: M/M, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-30
Updated: 2013-12-30
Packaged: 2018-01-06 18:47:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1110290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thealigirl8/pseuds/thealigirl8
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Food just reminds Jay of Chansung now. Everything just seems to lead to yet another memory.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prolouge

It hurt Jay to look at food now. There were a lot of things he could stand; the posters of 2PM, the questions about his past, the way no JYP artists were ever on shows with him. But he could never look at food the same. Food just reminded him of his personal glutton. It seemed no matter where he looked, no matter what food he ate, there was always a memory attached to his meal. A memory that would transport him back to the past…


	2. Popcorn

“What movie are we watching tonight?” Chansung called out to Jay from the kitchen as his bag of popcorn popped in the microwave behind him. 

“Do you want a horror, an action, or a thriller?” Jay responded from the TV room, holding up DVDs as they went. All the other 2PM boys had retired to bed, so Chansung and Jay got movie night all to themselves. They didn’t have to watch a romance for Wooyoung and Nichkhun, an inspirational film for Junho and Junsu, or an anime for Taecyeon. No, Jay and Chansung could watch exactly what they wanted and not worry about Wooyoung complaining about the violence or Junsu whining about the lack of music.

“Hmmm, how about horror? We never get to watch any otherwise; Nichkhun’s too much of a scardy cat.” Jay could hear Chansung munching on some popcorn as he answered but then the microwave fired up again.

“How many bags are you making, pabo-ya?” Jay shuffled through a few more DVDs before choosing The Grudge. They hadn’t watched it before but Jay had heard from Hep that it was pretty good. 

“Only three. I thought about making more but that might get a bit excessive,” Chansung replied, trotting back to the living room carrying an enormous bowl. Jay chuckled at the sight that reminded him so much of the human-sized sack of popcorn Chansung had gotten at the end of Idol Show. That bag had disappeared in less than forty-eight hours. 

“How do you feel about The Grudge?” Jay asked, although he was already putting the disk in the DVD player. He retreated to the couch where Chansung was waiting with a blanket. They weren’t really cold but they liked to hold hands underneath the cover, in case anyone walked in. Chansung simply grunted in response and lifted his arm so Jay could cuddle into his side.

About a half an hour into the movie, they were happily munching down on the popcorn, waiting to be frightened. It was a good thing Chansung had made three bags because there was already barely any left for Jay. They were watching the American edition because Jay couldn’t read the Korean subtitles on the Japanese film fast enough and Chansung couldn’t read English at all. “At least Jason Behr is hot,” Jay said. 

“Pff. You think that pansy’s hot? Why would you want him when you can have me?” Chansung thought he was definitely better looking than Jason Behr… right? “Besides, this movie isn’t scary at all. Didn’t you say your friend had nightmares or something?” Chansung looked at the DVD case, not understanding what was so creepy about the girl. 

“Whatever. Maybe it gets worse later.” Jay shrugged and began playing with the strings of Chansung’s sweatshirt. Just a couple minutes later…

“Holy shit! Holy shit! Why is that little boy there? What the fuck!” Chansung was clinging to Jay as they both completely freaked out, trying to pretend they hadn’t shrieked at first. 

“Ah hah hah,” Jay sobbed, “I can’t get his face outta my mind.” He rattled his head between his fists, willing himself to forget the boy and pay attention to the movie again. He soon regretted it. 

“Why the fuck isn’t she leaving her apartment? Why would you go back, Chansung? Sure, the blanket’s gonna save you. Dumbass.” Suddenly, both men looked down at their quilt and chucked it across the room. They looked back at the TV screen and screamed like little girls when the Grudge peaked out from under the covers.

“Fuck it,” Chansung said, “I’m not going to be able to sleep with blankets for a while now. Great.” Jay just chuckled and crept a little closer to Chansung, seeking warmth and comfort from his lover. Chansung smirked under his breath at the movement, remembering why he liked to watch horror movies in the first place. 

“Great, now they’re all going to die. Stupid bitch. You don’t go back to haunted houses. That’s just dumb.” Jay ranted all through the rest of the movie, hoping the words would comfort him and make him seem brave. He ran a hand through his hair, unable to get the shower scene off his mind. It was just a split second image where the Grudge ran a hand through the girl’s hair but it had Jay all paranoid. It was a good thing the other members weren’t present to see the couple so utterly terrified.

When the credits began rolling across the screen, Jay ran over to the wall to switch on the light as fast as possible. Popcorn lay strewn across the living room from when they had thrown the blanket with the bowl on top but no one moved to pick it up. Neither of them felt like cleaning at the movement. Jay made Chansung lead the way into their dark rooms. “Is little Channie scared?” Jay asked, being an expert in manipulating his lover. 

“No,” Chansung huffed and grabbed a broom, just in case. He wielded the thing like a weapon and turned on all the lights with the long stick, too afraid to put his hand in a black room. Jay peaked around the corner, smirking at Chansung’s warrior stance, and breezed by the taller man into his room. He ripped all the blankets off the bed and changed into his pajamas without saying a word. Chansung turned to go back to his room but was stopped by a hand grasping his wrist. 

“You’re sleeping with me tonight.” Jay left no room for discussion, not that Chansung would deny such a request.

“Why? Is little Jaebeommie scared?” He couldn’t resist teasing his love while stripping down to just boxers.

“I wouldn’t want the Grudge to get you while you sleep. What other idiot could live up to your standard?” Jay slipped under the covers. 

Just as he was falling asleep, he heard Chansung ask, “Jay? Will you shower with me tomorrow? I keep worrying about hands in my hair.” 

Well, Jay thought, if they got to use horror films as an excuse to shower and sleep together, they would have to watch One Missed Call next time.


	3. Whipped Cream

~

Pie was a gift from the heavens, Jay thought, as he gratefully licked the orgasmic whipped cream off his spoon. A fan had sent 2PM a French Silk pie and all the members jumped on it like vultures before they had to leave for their busy schedules. Jay had taken two pieces and smothered them in whipped cream before wolfing down the pie. 

Unbeknownst to him, Chansung had been predatorily watching him since the beginning of dessert. Jay really had no idea of the effect he had on the younger man. If he had known, he wouldn’t have left that little dabble of whipped cream on the corner of his mouth. That spot had been driving Chansung insane until Taecyeon reached over and rubbed it off with his thumb. Then Chansung was furious. He saw the way Taecyeon looked at Jay; just because Jay was oblivious didn’t mean Chansung was. 

Determined not to be out-done, Chansung offered Jay a bite from his own spoon which Jay eagerly ate, happy to be given more pie. Taecyeon smirked at Chansung, realizing what the maknae was trying to do. 

“You can have the rest of mine, Jay, I’m not hungry.” Taecyeon pushed his plate over to Jay and the short man almost kissed him he was so excited. Instead, Jay wrapped Taecyeon in a quick hug before gabbling down the rest of the piece. Taecyeon gave Chansung a victory look then walked into his room to change before he had to leave for filming. Chansung watched him go, boiling and ready to prove once again that Jay was his. 

Jay noticed the constipated look on Chansung’s face and elbowed the taller man. He offered up his spoon, “You want some?” Chansung shook his head, too focused on watching Taecyeon’s movements. The tub of whipped cream caught Chansung’s attention and he grinned evilly as he thought of the perfect way to lay his claim on Jay. The expression unsettled Jay and he scooted his stool away from Chansung’s a little while he wondered if he should go hide in his room and lock the door. 

“Bye, guys. I’ll see you later Jay!” Taecyeon called out as he exited the dorm. As if Chansung needed yet another reminder that the two went to the same college and spent most of their days together. 

The second the door clicked behind Taecyeon, Chansung grabbed the whipped cream and headed to Taecyeon’s room. While Jay was polishing off yet another piece of pie, Chansung set up Taec’s video cam so the bed was centered in the camera’s view but the camera itself was practically invisible. When it was recording, he walked back out to the kitchen and grabbed Jay by the chin to crash their lips together. 

Never one to say no to sex, Jay simply followed Chansung as the maknae walked backwards to Taecyeon’s room while they continued to make out. Once they reached the bed, Chansung sat back on the surface, placing Jay in front of him with their chests touching. Shirts were abandoned rather quickly and Jay jumped off Chansung to remove both their pants before hopping back into his lover’s lap. They were rarely left alone together so times like this were a precious commodity. 

Jay raised his eyebrows when Chansung pulled the whipped cream from behind his back but let the younger man paint his nipples with cream. Chansung pressed one large hand into Jay’s back to bring the leader’s chest closer to his mouth and mimicked Jay’s earlier antics with the spoon. 

“Shit, Channie, didn’t know you had a kink for whipped cream.” Jay could already feel his erection rising from licking off the mixture. 

“I have a kink for you,” Chansung replied with a smirk. “Think cream will work?” He asked Jay, knowing the older man would know what he was referring to. 

“You can try,” Jay responded, hoping Chansung would go back to attending his chest. Chansung covered his fingers in the cream and reached down to circle Jay’s hole before thrusting in while he sucked the remainder off Jay’s nipples. When Chansung added another finger, he switched to give the same attention to Jay’s other nipple. Always the leader, Jay was aware that Wooyoung and Junho would be home from practice in less than ten minutes. With that knowledge, he began bouncing up and down, fucking himself with Chansung’s fingers. 

“We don’t have much time, baby.” Chansung groaned at Jay’s reminder, wishing they could have more time together. Their sex life consisted mostly of quickies and anything they could fit in here and there. One of these days, Chansung wanted a full weekend or two to really learn Jay’s body. But right now, he needed to make sure Taecyeon knew who Jay truly wanted. 

Chansung took more whipped cream and covered his cock first then slathered a generous amount along the curve of Jay’s neck. There were a lot of aspects that were sexy about Jay but Chansung had always been partial to Jay’s neck. Jay didn’t question the movement and tilted his head to give the maknae more access. When Chansung put the spoon down, he gripped Jay’s hips and thrust upward into Jay’s tight heat. Jay gasped at the intrusion; they weren’t allowed do this enough for Jay to ever be accustomed to Chansung’s excessive girth. With the time limit bearing down on them, Chansung began moving right away, trusting that Jay could take the pain. To try and take Jay’s mind off the hurt, he began the task of ridding Jay’s neck of whipped cream. He licked and sucked and lapped at Jay’s neck, enjoying the taste of the cream with a hint of Jay’s unique flavor. 

Before long, Jay was rocking vigorously on his knees in abandon. Their pants filled the room as they rushed toward completion. The glint of the camera caught Chansung’s eye and he remembered his ulterior motive here. “Jay, tell me your mine.”

“Of course I’m yours Channie. Fuck me harder, goddamn it!” God, Jay had a way with words. Chansung succumbed to the demand and tongued Jay from the top of his shoulder all the way up to the curl of his ear, creating a shudder throughout Jay’s body. Jay looked at the clock - shit, they had less than five minutes. He bucked madly up and down, trying to finish them both before they scarred Wooyoung and Junho for life. Chansung wasn’t quite ready to let that happen though. 

“And do you want anyone else?” He needed to make sure Taecyeon got the message crystal clear before he gave in to Jay’s expertise.

“I’m only yours! Got it? Shit Chansung, possessive much?” Jay was beginning to get irritated with his lover but Chansung was satisfied with Jay’s words and finally devoted his full attention to driving himself crudely into Jay. The rougher he got, the closer Jay got to completion and Chansung loved that about his man. Those familiar tremors began clenching Chansung from inside Jay and he reached a hand down between their bodies to stroke Jay. 

Chansung looked directly into the camera as Jay came screaming his name and said one word before following his lover.

“MINE.”

~


	4. Dried Mangoes

~

“Junsu-hyung, Junho-hyung and Wooyoung-hyung all have one bag, Nichkhun-hyung had two, and Taecyeon-hyung has four.”

“Aish, no wonder he’s a giant. Well, Chansung, we know what we have to do. Nichkhun and Taecyeon are our prime targets. If you get a chance at Junho, Junsu, or Wooyoung’s though, don’t hesitate; just take as many as you can carry.”

“Are you sure they won’t notice, hyung?”

“By the time they notice, it won’t matter. The mangoes will be safe in our tummies.”

Chansung giggled and looked down at their already empty packages of the dried fruit. Seriously, if Taecyeon-hyung would just bring more home then he and Jay wouldn’t have to resort to stealing from their members. But then again, this way was so much more fun. 

You would think the other 2PM members would learn to guard their mangoes more carefully. Taking from Wooyoung was just too easy; Jay could even ask the boy and Wooyoung would hand them over to please Jay. Asking wasn’t any fun but swindling from such an easy source didn’t provide any entertainment either so the two troublemakers mostly stayed away from Wooyoung. The first time they had tried this out, Jay had been caught rifling through Wooyoung’s drawers. 

“What are you doing, hyung?” Wooyoung had asked with huge eyes. 

“Looking for your mangoes,” Jay confessed.

“Well you should have just asked if you ran out. Here, you can have mine, hyung.” Jay had exited Wooyoung’s room with his prize but a restless heart. 

Junsu, on the other hand, was also left alone but that was because he was too smart for the leader and the maknae. Junho simply got pissed in a not-going-to-talk-to-you-for-a-week type anger. That left the boys with Nichkhun and Taecyeon, no matter who had the most bags. Jay and Chansung came up with scheme after scheme to steal from Nichkhun and Taecyeon. Some were flawless while others were unsuccessful but the boys would never give up trying. 

“I could tell Taecyeon I think I like him and don’t want to be with you anymore,” Jay suggested at one of their brainstorming sessions. “While he’s trying to convince me that he isn’t gay, you can sneak into his room and snipe the mangoes.”

“That’ll never work, Taecyeon would just run from you and hide in his room,” Chansung protested, knowing that Taecyeon would take that opportunity to do something far worse.

“He’s my friend, Chansung, I think he would want to talk to me about it.”

“No! You’re not telling Taecyeon you want him. It’s a stupid idea and it wouldn’t work!” Chansung’s temper flared as he tried not to tell Jay how ignorant he was.

“Fine, you didn’t have to freak out, you know. Sheesh, chill out.” Jay didn’t understand why his boyfriend was such a spaz. “Hey! What if you get Nichkhun and Taecyeon to make you something for supper? They’re the best cooks anyway and that’s not suspicious at all; you’re always eating. And then I could take from both of their rooms while they’re busy.”

“What could they possibly be making that would need both of them?” Chansung thought that plan was much better than the last one. 

“I don’t know, make something up. Food is your specialty.”

With this decided, Chansung ran out to the living room from the closet they had been crouching in. 

“Nichkhun-hyung, Taecyeon-hyung, I’m hungry! Make me supper!” It wasn’t the most subtle plan but Jay thought it would work. 

“Make your own food,” Taecyeon ordered from the couch as he eyed the maknae with distaste. The reason Jay would want Chansung over him eluded Taecyeon. 

“But you make the best brownies, hyung, and Jay has really been craving them.” Chansung used Taec’s weakness against him, knowing the older member would do anything to get Jay’s attention back. 

“Well, I guess, I could bake dessert. You gotta make supper then!” Taecyeon turned on the Thai Prince and demanded that he help.

“How do you feel about Tom Yum, Chansung?” Nichkhun was always willing to help around the house.

“Yay! Hyung, you’re the best.” Chansung thought to himself that they were going to get a great meal out of this in addition to stealing the dried mangoes. Their plan was working perfectly. Did he feel bad about taking from such kind hyungs? No, not really. His conscience was over-powered by his stomach and his love for Jay. Chansung followed the naïve members to the kitchen to make sure they stayed there until Jay joined him, indicating their mission was a success. 

“Oh crap! I left the Nam Pla in my room. I’ll be right back.” Nichkhun started for his bedroom which held the essential ingredient in Tom Yum.

“NO!” Chansung quickly snatched Nichkhun by the arm, startling those in the kitchen. “I mean, I’ll go get it for you, hyung. You’re making supper for me after all.” The maknae ran off before the Thai man could protest. 

He slipped past the door so no one could see into the room. He found Jay crouching over the bags of mangoes. 

“What’s taking so long? You should be out there drooling over the brownies by now.” Chansung hissed at his partner in crime while he looked around for the Nam Pla. 

“I realized that we should leave our empty bags in place of theirs. Then we could put a couple from theirs into ours so it’ll look like they just forgot how many they ate.” Jay had been held up trying to open the stupid bags quietly so he could make the switch. He even missed the mention of brownies because he was so frustrated.

“Smart,” Chansung admitted.

“I know I’m a genius.” Jay grinned up impishly at the man. 

Chansung finally found the fish oil and made to leave the room. “I gotta get back. Hurry up! Oh, by the way, we get brownies and Tom Yum for supper.” Jay let a huge childish smile sprout across his face as he realized how many delicious things he was going to eat tonight. 

“Nichkhun-hyung, I found the Nam Pla!” The maknae returned to the kitchen and handed the oil to Nichkhun who only raised an eyebrow at how long Chansung took. He figured the Italian-looking man couldn’t find it, since he couldn’t seem to find a red target on his own hand. 

A couple minutes later, the smell of the baking brownies filled the dorm and Jay burst out from his room like he had been there the whole time, “Holy crap, what smells so good?” The Seattle man exchanged a satisfied smirk with Chansung and sat down on the stool in front of Taecyeon. 

“I’m making your favorite brownies,” Taecyeon replied, hoping Jay would literally give him brownie points. 

“Why do you two look so happy?” Nichkhun questioned, always suspicious of the two troublemakers. 

“Just excited for later,” Jay answered, grinning once more at Chansung. 

That night, Chansung had some Jay with dried mangoes on top for a little extra dessert. They burst into giggles the following morning when they were awoken by a roar from Taecyeon.

“WHO THE HELL ATE ALL MY MANGOES!!!!”

~


	5. Sandwiches

~

Jay was busy writing his rap for his part in “To Luv…” for the next V.O.S. album. He was so busy that he didn’t have any time for Chansung. This always happened; Jay would get immersed in whatever project had invaded his life and the short man would dedicate all his time to that work. Chansung wasn’t mad about it, he understood that Jay completely devoted himself and the maknae even admired his lover for that part of his personality. The problem was when Jay got into one of his trances he forgot to take care of himself. Jay would skip meals and not sleep until the finished product was flawless. The Seattle man would only take breaks to go to 2PM’s various schedules and then he would throw himself back into work the second they returned home. 

This time, he had been asked to feature in a song from V.O.S’s Routine Free album and Jay wanted the rap to be perfect. It was his first collaboration with a group outside of JYP and Jay wanted to make both Jin-young and 2PM proud. He had camped out in his favorite small studio and was running through multiple versions of his rap to see which one flowed the best. Jay really liked the phrase “for you I’ll wait longer than an elephant’s nose” but he had just ended with “nose” two lines earlier. He recorded that portion over and over again, slaving over the decision. To make matters worse, he hadn’t even started checking his Korean pronunciation for the earlier verse. 

Jay sighed deeply to himself; it was going to be another long night and he had to film for Idol Army tomorrow. He hadn’t been able to hug Chansung today either. The Seattle man would never admit it but he really enjoyed cuddling with his maknae. The warmth and comfort it provided reminded him that he wasn’t alone and that Chansung would always be there to keep him warm. In a country with a different language and strange customs, Chansung’s arms were his home. The leader rubbed his eyes as he decided to try recording the English rap again but with one word changed. It had to be just right. 

He was listening to the recording with his favorite headphones when the door to the studio opened and an over-grown maknae peaked in. Chansung grinned when he saw Jay so focused but that smile quickly faded when he noticed the bloodshot eyes and the dark circles sinking into his lover’s cheeks. He looked down at the sandwich in his hands, wondering if he should have brought something bigger. Figuring that he could go back and get more food later, Chansung crossed the room to Jay and wrapped his arms around the still oblivious leader. 

Normally Jay would have panicked and punched his attacker in the face but Jay recognized Chansung’s scent and leaned back into the embrace. He took off his headphones and wrapped his arms around Chansung’s neck. 

“What err you doin’ up?” Jay’s speech was slurring in his tired state. “You need your sleep, stupid.” Chansung scoffed and just picked Jay up. “YA! I can’t go to bed yet! I have to email V.O.S. a finished version of my part by dawn so they can approve the lyrics!”

“Why don’t you ask for an extension?” Chansung stopped moving toward the door but didn’t let the leader down. At this point, Jay was kicking his legs viciously and hitting Chansung’s chest but he was no match for the maknae’s lower body strength. The other 2PM members liked to point out how much thicker Chansung’s legs were than Jay’s. It was something that haunted Jay but no matter how much time he spent at the gym, he couldn’t seem to buff up his thigh and calf muscles. Resigned to his fate as a victim of genetics, Jay gave up punching his lover and just leaned against his chest. 

“I can’t, Channie. I can’t give 2PM and JYP a bad reputation for slacking off.” Chansung knew how seriously Jay took his responsibilities, even though the leader pretended to be care-free. It was a huge burden on Jay’s shoulders and there was little Chansung could do to lessen that weight. The younger man sighed and placed his lover back on his (tiny) feet. 

“You have to eat something at least.” Chansung walked back over to where he had placed the sandwich earlier and presented it to the shorter man. 

“Will you listen to two versions for me? I need a second opinion.” Jay completely ignored the food and returned to his equipment. The maknae sighed and captured Jay in his arms once more. 

“I’ll listen to your music if you eat. It’s a fair trade.”

Jay agreed and pulled Chansung over to the rolling chair. Knowing the older man wouldn’t actually eat if he didn’t watch him, Chansung pulled Jay down to sit on his lap and shoved the sandwich in his face once more. Jay turned to face Chansung chest-to-chest and let his legs dangle in the air. Darn Chansung being so tall! Jay put the headphones on Chansung’s ears and started playing the first version. He opened his mouth obediently when the maknae offered him the sandwich. Chansung had never made sandwiches in his life before he found out that Jay ate them whenever he needed a quick refresher. Then Chansung picked up the art real quick; he knew exactly the meat to bread to vegetables ratio Jay wanted and how to cut the bread horizontally not diagonally so there was less crust. While Chansung nodded along to the music, listening to both versions, Jay nibbled out of his hand. Jay stopped eating when he had to switch the recordings but quickly took a huge bite when Chansung raised his eyebrows in disapproval. 

To be honest, Jay was grateful his lover was there. It was disruptive to his work and the younger man really should be sleeping but Jay needed the comfort. When he had completely finished the delicious food, Jay leaned forward and kissed Chansung on the nose before burrowing his face in the crook of his lover’s neck. 

“Thank you,” Jay whispered into the maknae’s ear. Even with the headphones on, Chansung could hear the confession. Jay wasn’t very good at voicing his emotions so a village fool grin split across Chansung’s face. He was always happy when he was with Jay and he was proud that he could help the leader in some way.

Jay rubbed his face against Chansung’s skin, inhaling Chansung’s scent deep into his lungs. This was a habit that Jay forbade Chansung to tell anybody. It made him seem so unmanly but Jay couldn’t seem to stop; Chansung’s scent was addicting. The leader’s body sagged against the maknae’s as he waited for Chansung to finish, finally letting his exhaustion show. 

Chansung removed the headphones and, knowing the leader needed an actual decision, told him “I like the first version better.”

“Really? Cause I think so too but I was nervous about the nose part.”

“Jay, most of Korea doesn’t speak English, they wouldn’t know. It sounded perfect just the way it was. The second one seemed forced.” This was another reason Jay loved his man; Chansung wasn’t afraid to be honest. 

“Okay, I think I’m going to stay here and tweak a little bit.” Jay dismounted Chansung’s lap and led the other man to the door. 

“I’m not leaving if you aren’t.” Chansung walked over to a corner and curled up to sleep, completely serious. 

Shit, Jay thought, I can’t let him sleep here; he’ll have cramps in the morning. With nothing else to do, Jay emailed the file to the V.O.S. management and grabbed the maknae’s hands. 

“You suck.” Jay helped the man up but then marched over to the door, upset he couldn’t work on the part more. Chansung followed behind, pumping a fist into the air because he had actually managed to get the older man to go to bed. Jay lost enough sleep already because of 2PM and Chansung. 

Watching the leader shuffle his feet as they walked back to the dorm, Chansung promised himself that he would always be there to take care of Jay. Make sure he ate, but not too much greasy food. Make sure he slept, but not during the day. Make sure he knew he was loved, but not by Taecyeon. Chansung promised himself that he would always be there to support Jay, one sandwich at a time. 

~


	6. Tacos

~

“Chansung-ah! Did you hear?” Jay jumped into his lovers’ lap, which was rather uncharacteristic of him. 

The leader proceeded to bounce up and down enthusiastically until Chansung looked up from peeling a banana and asked, “What?” Taecyeon also took his attention away from his Bleach manga to see what had made Jay more excited than they had seen him since they debuted. 

“Tace Bell’s gonna expand and put a restaurant in Seoul! Finally!” Jay smiled that big dumb smile of his that made the rest of 2PM grin back, even if they couldn’t care less about Taco Bell. 

“Chincha hyung?” Wooyoung asked as he walked out of the shower. They all knew how much Jay adored Mexican food and Taco Bell was his go-to restaurant when he had a craving.

“Yep! Isn’t that exciting?” Jay jumped up from Chansung’s lap and walked over to ruffle Wooyoung’s wet hair. The younger man scoffed and shook his head but secretly he was happy. Wooyoung really looked up to the leader and the action made him feel closer to Jay. 

“Don’t we already have Mexican restaurants?” Junsu asked, confused about why this “Taco Bell” mattered so much. 

“We do but they’re not the same,” Chansung replied, stressing “the same” just like Jay did when he complained about the lack of Taco Bell in the vicinity. 

“There’s only one Taco Bell in all of South Korea right now, Junsu, and that’s on the American military base. I tried but we can’t get in without a visitor’s pass and clearance. So this is our chance!” A dark expression crossed Jay’s face as he remembered all the trials he went through trying to trick the guards into letting him pass. The whole “guy to guy” routine hadn’t worked at all. Jay had even brought out his b-boy moves to impress the soldiers but they wouldn’t be moved. Eventually, he had flirted with one soldier enough for that man to bring him out a Fiesta Burrito but Jay wasn’t confident that he could seduce a different guard every time he wanted a taco. 

“Can I come with, hyung?” Wooyoung asked, eager to experience something so dear to Jay. 

“It doesn’t open until July 2010 but when it does, we can all go together!” Jay reassured Wooyoung with a sincere smile and practically skipped away to get ready for another day of practice. 

“I wonder why he likes that place so much…” Chansung thought out-loud as he returned to his banana. As Taecyeon turned to make a snarky comment to Chansung, Nichkhun’s voice rang out from entrance to the living room.

“You wouldn’t know since you’ve never been to America.” Nichkhun enjoyed the surprised looks Taecyeon and Chansung gave him at his bitchy tone. The Thai man wasn’t a serious competitor for Jay; Taecyeon and Chansung were too serious about it for his preference. But if the leader just so happened into his bed, Nichkhun would enjoy everything Jay had to offer. If the other two men hadn’t been there, Khun thought he and Jay could have had a nice, casual relationship. Now and then, he liked to throw his lot in there just in case Jay got tired of Chansung. With a satisfied smirk, Khun walked away before either member could answer. 

He had meant it to be a biting remark but his comment threw Chansung into a frenzy of thinking. The maknae forgot sometimes to remember how hard Jay must have it. How everything must be so different from America. How much Jay must miss his home. So when 2PM finished rehearsing and filming, Chansung grabbed Jay by the arm and pulled him away from the van. 

“YA! I have to go home and study!” Chansung raised his eyebrows at Jay’s statement. The older man couldn’t stand studying. At the look, Jay suddenly found something very interesting on the ground that he had to give intense eye contact. “I’m almost failing out of one of my classes. Taecyeon told me that Jin-young hyung would be pretty pissed off if he found out so Taec offered to tutor me.”

At the mention of Taec’s name, the hairs on the back of Chansung’s neck stood up. “So? Jin-young hyung’s been pissed before.”

“I don’t think he likes me, Channie. I always feel like he’s just waiting for me to mess up.”

“Whatever. We’re going out to eat. You can study when we get home.” Chansung was secretly hoping that Taec would be asleep by the time they got there but then Jay might actually fail the class… Aish! It was all too confusing but Chansung did know that he didn’t want Jin-young mad at Jay. JYP was real good at coming up with unique punishments. 

“Where are we going?” Jay began following Chansung as the maknae led the way on foot to Itaewon. 

“It’s not Taco Bell but my friends told me Los Amigos has pretty good Mexican food.” Their last schedule was pretty close so they reached the restaurant within ten minutes. Jay grinned to himself at his lover’s thoughtfulness but he quickly wiped it off his face, knowing how stupidly in love he looked. 

They were seated in the restaurant and brought their chips with salsa and beans, just like in America. Chansung wasn’t overwhelmed by the live music; in fact, it was kinda like the clubs he and Jay go to but the room was brighter and no one was dancing. Jay looked around himself and everything felt so right, so familiar, so close to home. He grinned and leaned back into his seat, content. 

“What are you ordering?” Jay asked Chansung. 

“I’ve never had Mexican food before. Why don’t you pick your favorite two things and we can share?” That was just a little white lie; Chansung had eaten Mexican food once before but he wanted to see what Jay liked. 

“Fajitas and tostadas it is!” Jay swore the younger man could read his mind sometimes as he hadn’t been able to choose between the two. When their food finally came, Jay asked, “Should we really be eating at midnight? Taec is gonna have a heart attack when he finds out.”

“He doesn’t need to know, just tell him we went on a romantic walk in the moonlight.” Chansung really hated how often Jay thought of the other man. 

Jay gave the maknae an incredulous look. “When would I ever want to go on a romantic walk in the moonlight?”

“Fine! Tell him we had sex in a hotel so we could be as loud and freaky as we wanted!” Chansung was fine with Taecyeon thinking that too. 

“That sounds more like me. Let’s eat then.” Jay began digging into his food, completely forgetting that he was supposed to share until Chansung, ever the glutton, stole the tostadas right out from under him. Since the couple hadn’t eaten for hours, the food disappeared within mere minutes. Chansung let the leader have the last fajita and while Jay gobbled it up, the maknae took in his surroundings once more. The music and the lively atmosphere really matched Jay and if this was where Jay felt at home, Chansung could learn to love Mexican food. Where there is a will, there is a way. 

“Let’s go.” Jay laid down money on the table, never one to let Chansung pay for him like a girl. Because neither of them had a car, they had to walk all the way back to the dorm. The night was dark and few people were on the streets so without a word, Jay reached out for Chansung’s hand. They had never held hands in public before but Chansung knew better than to question Jay on it. 

Without realizing it, Jay and Chansung were going on a romantic walk in the moonlight. Both men were changing in little ways to accommodate each other because that’s what you do when you’re in love. You adapt to find compromises because you love that person enough to modify your habits without altering your entire personality. 

~


	7. Chocolate

~

Jay didn’t think he could move. He and Chansung had just spent the entire weekend alternating topping and bottoming since the other 2PM members had all left. It was a miracle they had that much alone time but now Jay was utterly exhausted. Chansung was off in the kitchen, eating like always. How the maknae found the strength to get up was lost on Jay. It seemed like no matter how drained Chansung was, he always had the energy to scavenge out food. 

With that energy, Jay expected him to answer the damn phone that just didn’t seem to stop ringing. Jay sure wasn’t going to leave the warmth of the bed and Chansung was already up. Groaning in frustration when the noise didn’t end, Jay slammed the pillow down around his ears to block the sound. When the call was on its last ring, Chansung finally answered and Jay sighed with relief. 

A couple minutes later, Chansung wandered back into the bedroom with chocolate sauce in one hand and potato chips in the other. Jay shook his head to himself; his lover sure had strange taste in food sometimes. “Junsu just called; they’re going to be back a little bit later than they had expected so we have another hour or two to ourselves.” Chansung grinned down at Jay and put his food down to crawl across the bed. “You know what that means right?” While holding himself up on his hands and knees, Chansung leaned down to tongue along Jay’s carotid artery. 

“Mhmm, not again, Chansung, I’m too tired,” Jay protested, completely unprepared for another round, not that he was struggling too hard against Chansung either. 

“Don’t worry, baby, I’ll take care of it.” Jay wasn’t too sure he liked that devious tone in Chansung’s voice or the context of the words themselves. It just didn’t sound like it would end well for Jay. However, he was too curious to actually do anything about it.

Chansung withdrew and reached back for his chocolate sauce, squeezing the bottle so the liquid completely covered Jay’s cock. Jay gasped at the cold feeling but felt himself getting hard once more at the thought of what Chansung was about to do. When the maknae deemed Jay sufficiently covered, he put the bottle not too far away and leaned down to take one tentative lick up the underside of Jay’s member. He let out a guttural groan of appreciation as he closed his eyes to savor the flavor. He had been right; Jay’s taste mixed perfectly with the chocolate. Chansung would never admit it out loud – well, unless Jay really wanted him to – but Chansung enjoyed going down on Jay. The leader’s taste alone could almost make him come; mix that with Jay’s size and the sounds the man made while Chansung pleasured him drove the maknae crazy. More than once Chansung had come on his knees in front of Jay. 

But this time, Chansung had an ulterior motive and that didn’t involve either of them reaching their brink already. With that in mind, Chansung returned to Jay with a dark look in his eyes and swallowed the older man entirely. The leader threw his head back violently and let out a scream that normally would have been taboo. Jay and Chansung would have to find more ways to get the other members out of the dorm more often. Chansung looked up at Jay and smirked when he felt hands pulling on his hair. Watching Jay’s reactions carefully, Chansung hummed around the length in his mouth before circling his tongue around the tip. Jay’s eyes were glazed with pleasure and his lips fell open as he began panting ever so lightly. That reaction was what Chansung was looking for and he reached behind himself to tease his own entrance. 

Jay loved the sight in front of him; the fact that Chansung was prepping himself while blowing Jay turned the man on even more. If he had been any less exhausted, Jay would flipped them over right there and driven inside Chansung. But right now, he was too tired and Chansung had all the control. Jay watched, fascinated, as Chansung thrust two fingers in and out of his body in an imitation of the same action he was performing on Jay’s length. Using one hand to fondle Jay’s balls, the other to fill himself, and his mouth to wring moan after moan from Jay’s mouth, Chansung presented quite the erotic spectacle. 

When Chansung started to feel like three fingers wasn’t quite big enough and Jay was ready for more, the maknae reluctantly let his prize slip from his mouth. Grabbing the bottle yet again, Chansung covered Jay’s cock with sauce once more since he had licked it clean already. Then he threw a leg over Jay’s waist so he was straddling the older man and, using his hands on Jay’s abs for balance, very slowly lowered himself onto Jay’s length. 

Chansung wasn’t as tight as usual from their entire weekend affair but Jay was thankful instead because Chansung could start moving right away. Upon finding little pain, the maknae grinned and began rocking up and down on his knees, trying to find his own prostate. Jay wanted to just lay back and let Chansung dictate the situation but he couldn’t help grabbing Chansung’s hips and guiding them into a circular movement that felt great for Jay and skimmed Chansung’s prostate in just a way that would drive him mad. 

“Mhhmm, Jay, hyung, this feels so g-good…” Chansung stuttered through his pleasure. Jay just grinned smugly up at his lover before thrusting his own hips up to push further into Chansung. With Jay’s hips driving up into Chansung and Chansung’s dropping down onto Jay, the two men could feel their explosive connection intensify. Jay’s hands were probably bruising Chansung’s thighs with how tight he was holding on, clinging to something to ground him on this Earth, but he didn’t care. It would just be one bruise among many covering both of their bodies. 

The brute force of their thrusts was moving both men closer to their completion so Chansung moved his hands from Jay’s chest, trusting the leader to balance him, and wrapped a hand around his length. Jay watched with crazed eyes as Chansung jerked himself off on top of Jay while they moved together. Needing something more, Jay used the little energy left in his body to flip them over and drive into Chansung at a renewed pace. 

“Hyung! Ah, harder, Jay, baby, harder!” Chansung gave himself up to Jay, knowing he couldn’t have stayed on top the whole time anyway. From the new angle, Chansung’s prostate was hit head on, over and over again. The more direct stimulation proved too much for the maknae and he felt his orgasm rush toward him. Chansung’s back arched up as he screamed his pleasure out for all to hear. The younger man dragged his nails down Jay’s back while he rode out his climax, another reminder to others that Jay was his.

The leader continued to thrust into Chansung throughout his orgasm, desperately searching for his own release. When the tremors from his climax had finally subsided, Chansung opened his eyes and lifted himself up by his arms around Jay’s neck to whisper dirty, dirty things in Jay’s ear. (The Seattle man had never been one for relationships before Chansung but he found that knowing someone’s body in and out and all their kinks was actually very enjoyable). Jay’s eyes almost rolled back in his head as Chansung’s words tipped him over the edge and he filled Chansung with his essence. 

After Jay had worn himself out, he collapsed to the left of Chansung and the maknae quickly cuddled into his side. While they were still catching their breathe, they were caught off guard by the sound of the door opening and Nichkhun’s voice calling out “Chansung ah! Jay hyung! Where are you guys? Did you miss me?” Unfortunately, the two lovers were too tired to cover themselves up before Nichkhun burst through the bedroom door. And really, Chansung was happy Khun got to see him in Jay’s arms and Jay thought the shocked expression on Khun’s face was priceless. 

~


	8. Jajangmyun

~

“Okay, Ready? Three. Two. One!”

At Junho’s cue, Chansung and Jay began fiercely digging into their plates of jajangmyun. They were both so determined to win, they didn’t notice the sauce dripping from their face or the mess they were making. While Junho was laughing gleefully, Junsu was shaking his head from his spot on the couch. They were such children.

This had all stemmed from an hour ago when Jay and Chansung caught Wooyoung watching the first episode of Coffee Prince.

“This is the worst excuse for a manliness contest ever. Who cares who can eat jajangmyun faster?” Jay was utterly unimpressed with their definition of “duking it out.”

“Don’t doubt jajangmyun,” Wooyoung said as he watched the screen, fascinated.

“I don’t doubt it; I just don’t get why they aren’t wrestling or fighting or something.”

“Hey! You wanna try?” Chansung asked, always ready for another excuse to eat.

“No. I just said this whole thing is stupid.”

“Why? You afraid you might lose?”

And that’s how the two boys ended up with ten servings of jajangmyun in front of both of them, inhaling the food like they had been raised in barns. Junsu sighed once more - he was surrounded by children - and returned to his music magazine. 

Wooyoung sat at his computer, pretending to watch the rest of the episode while keeping an eye on Jay and Chansung. He didn’t want to say anything that Jay might think isn’t cool but he wasn’t sure this was a good idea. It would be just like Jay or Chansung to choke and die for an eating contest. 

“Go, go, go, go, go!” Junho chanted. “Jaebeom hyung, you’re gonna lose! Chansung’s got you by at least half a plate!”

With one quick glance up, Jay returned to his jajangmyun with a renewed determination. He would NOT lose in something so dumb. 

“What are you guys doing?” Khun asked as he wandered into the dining room. 

“Chansung’s beating Jae hyung’s ass in an eating contest!” Junho cackled with glee as Jay glared up at him from his position a centimeter above the plate.

“Seriously guys?” Khun asked with a superior lilt to his voice but he wrapped an arm around Junho’s shoulders as he watched the spectacle anyway. “Wow, you’re right, Junho. Jay has no chance.” Khun traded a mischievous wink with Junho while they both laughed at an inside joke.

“Oh? Oh, Jay’s catching up! Khun hyung, he might actually win this!” 

“Oh my god, Chansung might lose in an eating contest. What is the world coming to?” Junho and Nichkhun began to jump up and down in excitement while they cheered Jay on. Wooyoung and Junsu began giggling despite themselves as Jay ate faster and faster, spurred on by the cheers.

“There! Ha, Chansung, told you this whole thing was stupid!” Jay slammed down his finished plate as he looked victoriously over at his lover. His triumph didn’t last long. 

The other 2PM members burst into full-blown chortling as Jay looked incredulously at Chansung who had been filming Jay since he finished about a minute ago. 

“You should see your face!” Junho managed to spit out between his fits of snorts. “Oh my god, that was perfect!”

“Oh, oh, I can’t breathe,” Khun joined in as he bent over double from laughter. 

The shock finally wore off Jay and instead of being angry he started chuckling too. “Okay, that was pretty funny.”

“Pretty funny? We even got the whole thing on tape!” Khun wiped the tears from his eyes as he walked over to Chansung. “We gotta watch it again.” Chansung obediently played the video and threw the 2PM dorm into another round of hysterical laugher. 

“You guys do realize that my revenge is going to have to be even better than this right?” Jay asked with a devious grin on his face as he began to plot his vengeance. 

“What could possibly be better than this?” Nichkhun asked, doubtful Jay could top the video. 

“I take that as a challenge,” Jay replied with a smirk and walked to his room, mumbling to himself. “I should go find those handcuffs…”

Exchanging a worried look, Nichkhun and Junho hugged each other close. “I can’t tell if I’m more afraid of what he’ll do to us or why he has handcuffs,” Junho said as he shivered in fright. 

“Don’t ask,” Chansung replied as he closed the video camera and followed Jay to the bedroom. 

“That’s it! I don’t want to know what you and Jay do in the bedroom! Oh! My ears! My poor innocent ears! Will I ever get that image out of my head!” Junho wailed dramatically as he covered his ears and closed his eyes. 

“You’re picturing it?” Nichkhun asked, leaning away from Junho. 

“I can’t help it!” Chansung’s evil chuckle drifted back to the pair as he closed the door to Jay’s room. “Wait. Who topped?” 

“Don’t ask me that!” Khun shoved Junho away and left him to do better things with his day. 

“But I really want to know!” Junho looked around desperately. “Wooyoung, do you know?”

“I really think that’s their private life, Junho. You should leave it alone,” Wooyoung replied.

“Or risk being scarred for life,” Junsu chimed in from the couch. “Besides, it’s not like they don’t ‘experiment’.” 

“AH! Way too much information!” Junho cried out.

“Well you asked…” Junsu shrugged and turned back to his article. How Junho hadn’t heard the two lovers together blew Junsu’s mind; they weren’t exactly quiet. But he guessed it was a blessing in disguise. The noises had created a, um, “problem” for Junsu more than once.

In the other room, Chansung wrapped his arms around Jay’s waist from behind and nuzzled his ear.

“Where did we put those handcuffs? I swear I just saw them,” Jay asked as he looked around, focused on finding them.

“That’s because they’re still on the bed,” Chansung replied in a husky voice and chuckled into Jay’s ear, “Remember?”

“How could I forget?” Jay turned around to slid his hands along Chansung’s sides and kiss the taller man. The kiss was not so innocent and oh-so-dirty. Jay walked forward so Chansung had no choice but to fall back unto the bed. 

“You’re not mad?” Chansung asked, just to be sure.

“Nah, I love you too much for that,” Chansung grinned at that – Jay was starting to get familiar with using the “L” word casually. His grin took a perverted turn at Jay’s next sentence. “But I might have to punish you personally.”

And Junho soon got the answer to his question. 

~


	9. Spaghetti

~

Jay sighed to himself as he discovered yet another wrapped present in his bag. Today was their one year anniversary and Chansung was really going out of his way to make Jay feel special. Out loud, Jay complained that it made him feel like a girl, and it did, but he also thought it was kind of sweet. 

He woke up this morning to breakfast in bed with tons of syrup to go around. Jay always missed his American style breakfasts. When 2PM boarded the van to go to their first schedule, a gift bag was waiting for him. Inside laid a cap with a bunch of junk food on the lip. To add to his ever growing hat collection and so that it would remind Jay of him, Chansung said. In the dressing room for their second appointment, a bouquet of roses was hiding in Jay’s clothes. Chansung hadn’t been too sure if Jay would like them but remembered that his mother had told him that everyone loves flowers, even if they don’t want to admit it. Jay definitely didn’t want to admit it but the roses did smell quite nice. Before their last filming of the day, a stylist handed Jay a box wrapped in green and white paper. When he opened it, Jay found a Seattle SuperSonics jersey that was just his size. Chansung noticed that his old one was getting all worn out so he scoured the internet for a seller. It was much harder than Chansung had expected since the SuperSonics had moved cities in 2008. But it was all worth it to see the giant smile on Jay’s face. 

And now was the big finale. 2PM was finally finished for the day and Wooyoung had promised Chansung that he would take all the other hyungs out for supper while the maknae took Jay home to celebrate. The preparations had all been made (Chansung had slipped out earlier to get everything ready then came back to pick up Jay) and Chansung could feel his heart beating faster the closer they got to home. He was so nervous that Jay wouldn’t like everything or would freak out but Chansung had gone too far to back out now. 

Next to him on the car seat, Jay was watching his lover begin to sweat bullets and could barely keep himself from laughing right in Chansung’s face. It was obvious to Jay that Chansung had something big planned but he never thought he’d see his lover more nervous than the day they debuted. Whatever it was, Jay couldn’t decide if he wanted it to happen sooner or later. Sooner would be good so they could take full advantage of their night alone… and because Jay was slightly curious but that totally didn’t come into account. But the later it happened, the more time Jay got to observe Chansung twitch. The leader almost wished he had a camera so he had proof for later. Chansung looked like a total mess.

When they finally arrived at the dorm, Chansung literally ran up the stairs before Jay so he could change shirts. His was almost drenched in sweat and that was not how he wanted Jay to remember this night. Thankfully, Jay got the hint and took his good, old, sweet time walking up to their dorm. When he opened the door, a scene straight out of a chick-flick greeted him. Chansung was waiting in a crisp dress shirt, holding yet another bunch of flowers, in front of a dinner table with two plates of spaghetti, two glasses of wine and dozens of candles. Jay couldn’t decide if he wanted to kiss the maknae or throw up on him. It was all incredibly cheesy and yet Jay found that he didn’t mind so much, as long as no one had to know. 

“Spaghetti?” He asked as he put his bag down and traveled over into Chansung’s embrace. “That’s not Korean at all.”

“Yeah, but I wanted this to be special and I thought something familiar might not be so bad,” Chansung said as he wrapped his arms around Jay, suffocating the flowers between their chests.

“Oh, is tonight special? I didn’t get that from all the presents today. Now all I have to do is figure out why today’s special,” Jay joked while he walked over to the fridge to get the wine.

“You don’t know? I should hope you remember by now,” Chansung laughed to himself and sat down at the table. 

“Is it your birthday? No? My birthday? Nah, I would’ve gotten presents from other people too. Hmm…. I feel like it might be important. Chansung, do you know what today is?” 

“Today marks our first year together. Today is special because I managed to keep you for 365 days and today is special because I don’t plan on letting you go,” Chansung replied, totally serious, as Jay poured their glasses.

“Well, then, here’s to one of many,” Jay said, raising his glass and smiling at Chansung’s statement. They spent the rest of dinner in a comfortable silence as both reminisced over the past year and all that it meant to them. They thought of the fights, the make-ups, the laughter, the tears, the sex, and most importantly, the love. Chansung and Jay looked across the table at each other and realized that their lives had changed utterly and completely because of their partner. Neither could tell if they had been changed for the better, but they had been changed for good. 

When they had finished eating, Jay brought the dirty plates over to the sink and turned around into the embrace of the man he knew would always follow him. Jay pulled Chansung’s neck down to bring their lips together in a soft kiss that bared all his love for Chansung to accept or destroy at his will. Logically, Jay knew Chansung would never betray him but love wasn’t about knowing; it was about being vulnerable and trusting your partner. Jay had never felt so exposed before but Chansung was worth it. He was worth it all. 

“Thank you for today,” Jay said when he pulled away from Chansung. With their foreheads connected and the glow of the candlelight illuminating their skin, Chansung felt a cocoon surround them. It was their world and Chansung never wanted to leave.   
Right as this thought crossed his mind, Jay left his arms and ran back to his room. Bewildered, Chansung just stood there, hoping Jay hadn’t gotten intimated and run away from him. Just as he was getting ready to check on Jay, the leader came back from the room with a small package in his hands. Without speaking, he offered it to Chansung, looking shyer than Chansung had ever witnessed. Curious, Chansung opened the little box and looked down at the one diamond earring inside. Looking up, Jay was wearing the other one and his lover opened his mouth to answer his questions before Chansung could speak.

“I want you to wear this and always know that wherever I am, I’m thinking of you. These earrings are a pair just like we are and one isn’t complete without the other. We can’t tell the public about our relationship just yet but these earrings can be our way of communicating without actually talking. No matter the miles between us, these earrings will keep us connected.

I’m yours, and you’re mine, forever.”

~


	10. Soup, Grapes, & Raw Meat

~

Chansung’s tears shone like soup that would topple forward out of his eyes if he just would let himself go. Jay watched his lover struggle with his emotions but the leader didn’t know how to fix it; he didn’t know how to fix Chansung. He couldn’t change the situation and he couldn’t just pull Chansung into his arms and tell him it was going to be okay. Because it wasn’t going to be okay. Jay had to leave Korea; that was what was best for 2PM and Jay would do whatever it took to make sure they weren’t held responsible for his actions. When Jay reached his hands up to rub his face in frustration, he felt his tears which mirrored those of Chansung’s. The leader looked over his boys once more and nodded at them each in turn since he didn’t trust himself to speak. Coming to Chansung last, the maknae had started to sob in earnest. Jay swiped the tears from Chansung’s cheeks and whispered in his ear, “Be strong for me; I’ll see you again.” As he turned away to board the plane, Jay couldn’t have known those were the last words he would ever say to Chansung. 

~

“No, not even once.” Chansung’s eyes were as hard as grapes this time as he replied to a question about if he had met up with Jay. The maknae had become jaded and felt far older than his years. The question had surprised him, to be honest. Few people had the guts to discuss Jay with the 2PM members while Jay was constantly bombarded with questions about his past. Not that Chansung watched Jay’s broadcast, no, of course not. Why should he watch anything that had to do with Jay when his lover hadn’t bothered to contact him at all? June 18th. Chansung had awaited the day with bated breath. The day came, Jay’s return to Korea, and Chansung was left alone at the dorm, waiting for a visit, a call, some indication Jay still cared for him. But nothing ever came. So Chansung moved on. It hurt most of the time but Chansung liked to think that it didn’t show and he still seemed like the care-free boy he was before. Slowly, he told himself, I can do this slowly. One day at a time. So the question hit him like a ton of bricks right to the family jewels. Was the world against him? No matter what he did, the past would always come back for him. If he was doomed to suffer forever, Chansung promised himself he would never let it show. He would never let the world know just how much pain he was in. 

~

Jay’s heart felt like raw meat; pink, beaten and just raw. Korea held so much for him. It held his fans, his illionaire and Prepix crews, and his career. But it also held pain, so very much pain. 2PM had gotten so popular after he left that there were posters everywhere of his boys. Whether it be for concerts, variety shows, or dramas, the faces of 2PM followed Jay wherever he went. Chansung had done well for himself, in particular, and Jay couldn’t run from his lover. “No, not even once.” Those words haunted Jay. Chansung had looked so cold when he said them, so jaded. But worse than that; he looked angry, like it was Jay’s fault. No, Jay decided, Chansung had no right to look so wronged. It was Jay who had been rejected time and time again. His lover hadn’t sent him a single letter or text the entire time he was in America. While his fans wrote him a letter every single day and even recorded a song just for Jay, Chansung, his lover, his everything, had acted like Jay didn’t even exist. It never even occurred to Jay that Chansung had been given the wrong phone number and address by JYP. It didn’t occur to him that he wasn’t alone in his suffering. So he lived his life, with a raw heart that could barely take any more beating. 

~

No, Jay couldn’t bear to look at food anymore. Food would always bring memories of Chansung and Jay could only try to move on. If Chansung didn’t want him, then Jay would have to move on. For that was all that was left to him.


End file.
